A few weeks ago our daughter moved to England to go to university. Many things stirred up in us as parents: was it wise from us to support this decision? Did we prepare her well to live in a foreign culture and succeed alone in a multicultural mega-city of 12 million people? The feelings of pain over saying good-bye and missing each other and the concern over her safety is mixing in us along with the excitement over her progress. This led Edina and I to think through everything we would like to tell her. We wrote a letter that I gave to Rahel before I left her alone in London. This letter is personal, but I've decided to publish it here, because:
- First, it reflects truths that we deeply believe in and determines our lives;
- Second, the generation of our daughter is a terrifically left-alone generation. Most of them don't have a supportive family and cultural background and grew up in a moral, emotional and relational vacuum while they are looking for help, guidance and encouragement in life. The convictions verbalized in this letter can help them find direction and encouragement. They need to feel that they are important, loved and cared for - even if many of them have not experienced that.
- Third, more and more people are going through the same experience as their kids are finding their way to maximize their talents in this fluid and migrating world and decide to leave their home country. This letter gives an opportunity to look into our personal spiritual and emotional journey and might serve as an encouragement for those who are walking in the same shoes as we are.
Our Dearest Sweet Little Girl,
There are things in life we want them to go on forever and we don’t want them to get to an end. But they inevitably elapse. Your childhood and life together with us is such: we want it to go on forever!
There are situations in life when words don’t come easily. What could we say when we go through something we’ve never experienced before? It’s indescribable what we feel: you were born from us, lived among us and in us, and now it feels like something is ripped out from the very middle of our being! We want to keep you at home and spend every moment with you because you are such a wonderful gift! Yet at the same time we wish with all of our might and prayer what is best for you and what is God’s will for your life! We gave freedom to you to make this important decision about your future and we support you with all of our means. You made a very good decision when you chose England to continue your studies. Don’t look back and question your decision even when loneliness, homesickness and the missing of your family tantalize your heart. You are walking on the path God ordained you to - walk on it faithfully with Him. He will be faithful to you in every moment!
Our Sweet Little Girl, you are a specially wonderful person! You have a uniquely kind personality, a wonderful spirit, a deeply compassionate heart and an opened, very clever mind. Guard these characteristics, but especially protect your heart because that’s the source of every life. Nurture yourself with the truth of God, with His Word. Pick carefully who do you listen to. There are many lie-speaking mouth out there who are turning astray people’s mind and heart. Don't let the evilness of men and the difficulty of life shatter the beauty of your spirit! Beware of the evilness of men. Men without God are ungodly, selfish, lier, adulterer, greedy and are able and willing to do every kind of evil. Be sound and careful! You have to learn to protect yourself from the evilness out there.
As we are looking back to the wonderful 19 years we’ve spent with you and to the 9 months we were awaiting you in tears praying for your health we can’t do anything but worship and praise the Almighty that He gifted us with you! Our wedding passage was Romans 8:32: “He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” At that time we didn’t know how wonderful that “all things” are gonna be which He promised to give to us with Him. You are one that wonderful gift we have received together with Jesus! We were waiting you in tears as we have heard that you will be born handicapped. Now we farewell in tears. And the time in-between is the miracle itself! There is not one moment - from the miracle of your birth up to today - that we wouldn’t want to live through again! Yes, we would like to live through the whole 19 years again: the joyful laughters, the grieves cries, the painful disappointments, the fun games, the adventures excursions, the common discovery of the world and the Word, the deep, lengthy discussions and prayers together. In and through all of that somehow God wonderfully was forming you! What an endless joy it was for us to be a tool in God’s hand in forming such a wonderful person like you are!
But the majority of our task came to an end. We’ve tried to give the best of our efforts, knowledge, abilities and love despite of our deficiencies, mistakes and weaknesses. When we look at you, joy and peace overwhelms our heart. We are convinced that we gave what we could. Now, new people, new experiences, new situations need to come to bring your life, your character and your relationship with God to a next level. God wants to use new tools in your formation. That’s why we are giving you back boldly into the hands of the Lord who entrusted you as a gift to us for a short time. We can’t run your race for you - this is your race, but we will be there at the edge of the field to watch and help your race. You can always count on us. We will always be there to help you up when you fail, to rejoice with you in your successes and to advise you at the crossroads of your life. There is one thing we can’t do: walk your path and make your decisions for you. Your path is awaiting for you to walk on it and you can do it with the Lord! God is storing wonderful things for you on this road if you are faithfully clinging onto Him! Use wisely all the gifts you got!
Remember: God is enough! He is enough in every situation! You do not need anything else, but His grace! Now the Lord wants you to deeply experience, like never before that He is enough, that He is your life, your Nurturer, your Love, your Everything!
Remember: God’s word is the food of your soul and the light on your path. He nourishes us daily and shows to us only the next step.
Be blessed, our Dear Little Girl! May God protect all your steps! May His light shine upon you in every moment! May His love cheer your heart! May his joy fulfill your soul! May His wisdom guide your mind! May He lead you in your decisions! May He bless all your work!
With deep love until the grave:
Daddy and Mommy